NS Chan Studio:: Graphics, Art, Manga, Architecture

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

I and Me

I skipped meals again.... and when ppl ask me y, I said, "I am a masochist. muahaha". Yes i am jokking.... u think i really like to seek comfort in self torture and self pity. If I haf much energy in life, I will definitely not bow down to that fact and make my life meaningful no matter wat, otherwise I will let myself down.

Maybe this is one of the self-push/self-motivation that alex was tokking abt to me last fri. It is an admirable strength yes.... esp from a gal like me....but i dunno if it will last.

Today HR class again.... looking at the summary of Type A and B personalities... I feel i am mixed... Though i am sometimes competitive, and wanna do alot of things at lesser time, yet i wanna do things slowly and at my own measured time.... OH my goodness, I am so confused... Is it my 2 selfs causing such contradictions again? Can ppl understand the pain of living with 2 sets of personalities...

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Watched some tv from 7 to 10pm... 8:30 to 9 got this Taiwan thingy, with Sharon as the hostess, showing us ard places in Taiwan... i feel like going there... :( i really wanna see the big patch of meadow, countryside places etc.... such places considered meditative to me. This morning History of Western Archi lectures showed us beautiful buildings in Athens... i wish to go there too... I discover the adventurous side of me... juz that i am lazy to pack and many issues tying me down at where i am. Though I know my field of study requires me to go ard travelling...
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a sense of emptiness; a sense of isolation; a sense of detachment; a sense of silence.
a sense of hoping; a sense of waiting; a sense of distance; a sense of uncertainty.
a sense of blind; a sense of loss; a sense of hurt; a sense of emptiness.

nonsense.

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忘了谁曾经问过我，
觉得电脑的功能里，
最厉害的是哪一个，
当时我毫不犹豫地回答说：
“Undo”
因为那是现实生活中，
绝对不可能发生的神话。

时间、过错、记忆、伤痕，
如果这些能够重来一次。。。

- "Undo"
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Monday, August 29, 2005

Rest that is inexistent

Had my crit, i dun wish to mention it la. Juz tht alot of things need to do, so no more nice rest la.

hmm found this on ed's blog, about some numerology thingy from ur name:
http://www.paulsadowski.com/Numbers.asp

here's my data:

You entered: Chan Sok Yin Juliana
There are 17 letters in your name.Those 17 letters total to 70There are 7 vowels and 10 consonants in your name.
Your number is: 7
The characteristics of #7 are: Analysis, understanding, knowledge, awareness, studious, meditating.
(hmm~~ quite fitting.... lol)

The expression or destiny for #7:Thought, analysis, introspection, and seclusiveness are all characteristics of the expression number 7. The hallmark of the number 7 is a good mind, and especially good at searching out and finding the truth. You are so very capable of analyzing, judging and discriminating, that very little ever escapes your observation and deep understanding. (this is true but not when it comes to those emotional affairs. I am really dumb and unobservant....) You are the type of person that can really get involved in a search for wisdom or hidden truths, often becoming an authority on whatever it is your are focusing on. This can easily be of a technical or scientific nature, or it may be religious or occult, it matters very little, you pursue knowledge with the same sort of vigor. You can make a very fine teacher, or because of a natural inclination toward the spiritual, you may become deeply emerged in religious affairs or even psychic explorations. (Yes i love the spiritual realm of life and mind~~ There is this unseen power that i can feel.) You tend to operate on a rather different wavelength, and many of your friends may not really know you very well. (Wah Kaoz! DAMN TRUE!!!! I always think and thus talk stuff that other ppl dun understand... but den, these recent years i haf changed la, so not that bad le... Still, got ppl say my thinking very unique..) The positive aspects of the 7 expression are that you can be a true perfectionist (very true) in a very positive sense of the word. You are very logical, and usually employ a quite rational approach to most things you do. You can be so rational at times that you almost seem to lack emotion, and when you are faced with an emotional situation, you may have a bit of a problem coping with it. (rational.... erm, rational in some stuff only. Normally or often, i am irrational... too idealistic at some issues... ) You have excellent capabilities to study and learn really deep and difficult subjects, and to search for hidden fundamentals. (nah, difficult in wat sense? if computing stuff or science, NO. If it is abt the art and the similar, den I wont mind.) At full maturity you are likely to be a very peaceful and poised individual. (this is when i am into meditative mood /enlightened by religion or self-nurture... how to be peaceful aka no tense when i am in Architecture???!!!)
If there is an over supply of the number 7 in your makeup, the negative aspects of the number may be apparent. The chief negative of 7 relates to the limited degree of trust that you may have in people. (For a moment in the past, this happened....Or rather, lost hope in people..) A tendency to be highly introverted can make you a bit on the self-centered side, certainly very much self-contained . Because of this, you are not very adaptable, and you may tend to be overly critical and intolerant. You really like to work alone, at your own pace and in your own way. You neither show or understand emotions very well. (Last time when i lost hope and feelings for this world, I was very self-centred cos I think since no one care, I have to care abt myself to survive. Now, I am no that self-centered anymore. I have met some people in my life that bring me light to my world. So this part not very true, but then i agree on the part on working alone AT MY OWN PACE, and OWN WAY.... maybe cos my style is rather diff....)

Your Soul Urge number is: 5
A Soul Urge number of 5 means: The 5 soul urge or motivation would like to follow a life of freedom, excitement, adventure and unexpected happening. The idea of travel and freedom to roam intrigues you. You are very much the adventurer at heart. Not particularly concerned about your future or about getting ahead, you can seem superficial and unmotivated. (sorry, this part is WRONG!! I know wat i want in life, where i heading and all. I am never superficial nor unmotivated. But of cos i wish my life haf freedom and adventure. But not too much adventure la, i not that brave to explore things like dark caves ar climb rocks.lol)
In a positive sense, the energies of the number 5 make you very adaptable and versatile. You have a natural resourcefulness and enthusiasm that may mark you as a progressive with a good mind and active imagination. (yup yup) You seem to have a natural inclination to be a pace-setter. You are attracted to the unusual and the fast paced. (huh?)
You may be overly restless and impatient at times. You may dislike the routine work that you are engaged in, and tend to jump from activity to activity, without ever finishing anything. You may have difficulty with responsibility. You don't want to be tied down to a relationship, and it may be hard to commit to one person. (jumping from one task to another is becos i wanna do everything together.... The part about responsibility and onwards are ALL WRONG!)

Your Inner Dream number is: 4
An Inner Dream number of 4 means: You dream of being a very solid citizen that people can depend upon. You strive for organization and predictable order. You want to be recognized as a person with a plan and the discipline to make that plan work like clockwork. (erm, this is rather wrong, i am not interested in becoming a politician or wat..... )

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wah, juz now mei chatted with me on msn with her webcam! My goodness i can see her!! But too bad she cant see me... wah so cool~~~ haha....rather fun too~ how come only mei use it... i tot many others oso haf??

Haiz, my mood is grey all the time. Not happy nor very sad.... Did i lose my energy in work? Maybe too drained.... wish something can give me a big push to go on. Or shall i always believe in my self-motivation as I used to be?

Eve of Interim Crit

haha Monday is Interim Crit, i shldnt be taking a break like this to blog, but i think blogging is part of my life or routine already....

Regarding the comments to previous post, jo ar, ya i know the 2nd part sounds yucky but lol... do u know last time i always draw things like that? cos last time sec sch, i read CLAMP comics which is bloody but require high standard of skills to draw those scenes... so i am like... learning and challenging myself to draw those... abit influenced at that time la... i know u wont want to see those~~btw, hadnt been able to chat with u these days, after this crit over, shall bug u online!!
wah ed, ur comments are so short and sweet in ur 4 lines... ok la, i agree with wat u said too.

sorry ar, my stories do not haf those cheem cheem words... cos my style is using words to paint visual scenes in the mind. -pictorial words- :) ..... from visual artist here~

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These days not much sleep to pia design... people's dark eye rings are black. Mine is purplish red... so i think i look like monster now... the really scary ugly version of my msn pic... lol...

I had skipped 2 days of proper meals, 2 days of lack of sleep... seems like hell, but thanks to my groupmates, i think it is still managable. Thanks grace for being a wonderful grpmate as well as a fren who lends her listening ear to me, and treating me to an apple pie and sundae which i dun wan u to treat me~~ lol. Thanks to rudy for being so enthu in rich in giving out ideas, thanks to sung moo for being so cheery all the time. :) good luck to ourselves manz!! Jia you!

Saturday, August 27, 2005

2nd post for today

Actually wanna post this as my 2nd post yesterday cos while bathing, i got some inspirations to write an abstract piece of story again~... but i dozed off in front of my comp a few minutes i sat down to write this... i wonder who actually appreciates it besides jov and ed... anyway, for interest sake, i'll juz write it~ before i stayover in sch these days.... :(

[海之语2]

云不断地成长，也随着风儿飘。
云自由自在地飞，到世界各地游玩，享受眼帘下的风景。
海望着风，说道：“云，我真羡慕你，能看到世界的一切美好。”
云回答，说：“是啊，我很开心。每一天都很精彩！真自由啊！”
海微了微笑，默默地看着他的朋友。
一整风吹来了，云挥了挥手，跟海告别。
一直在他身边的朋友，也终于潇洒地离去。
海知道它没资格要求云为它而停下。
别人的时间不属于它。

+++++++++++++

每一个天使，都有一双翅膀。
有了这双翅膀，它可以飞翔，甚至飞到天上的城市。
若没了这双翅膀，它也可在地面上行走，认识不同的城市。

但若有一天，一串锁链套住一只翅膀，而另一只还可动。
一边被拉着，一边不定地动着。
一边被铁链拉得破裂，拉得鲜血直流，一幅血泠泠。
另一边拼命摇动着的，羽毛已脱卸，露出一幅疲惫瘦削的白骨。
一切很痛苦。有如将近斯成两半。
要吗，就把两边锁起；
要吗，就放开，让它飞走。
一边拉着，一边动着，被夹在两间的地带，不知所措。
对它而言，是地狱般的酷刑。
它哪儿都不能去。
它的处境，不上不下，是一个无形的灰色地带。
它的选择只有等待。等待什么？
等待一边的解放？还是等待被折磨到骨碎。死。

这样，就被毁了。
被夹着，不能有个停落的地点，是地狱般的酷刑。

++++++++++++++

hmm, actually juz roughly put down wat comes to mind... i think if i can draw manga out of them, i think the idea will be strong, and have greater emotional and visual impact on readers. hehe. visual telling is my forte or wat i more familiar with anyway. If i haf the time to draw.... do i haf time....

Friday...

The day began with me travelling all the way to Bishan to meet up with grpmates to visit our design site at Serangoon gardens.... After some discussion over lunch, travelled all the way to sch, den reach home.... do abit of reading and accidentally dozed off tl 6:30pm... I haf anime comm meeting at 6:30 in sch lor... so late lor.... Den my JC clique got abit of dinner gathering at Westmall, so i intended to join them later... In between, some heated conflict happened between me and wk... haha but then nothing serious la.. Juz feel kinda duh to tell me no need to come as everyone nothing to do and wanna go home... den later called me to come as they all chatting at coffee bean... ok la, cannot blame wk oso... these kinda things unexpected too... at first tried to scold him and sounded angry as my anime frens beside me were encouraging that i shld do so to make him feel guilty. But I cant do it... i cant scold a fren like that for long oso and i know that it is not his fault... not all at least. Well, wk didnt take it too much to heart too~~ hehe. We finally went off at abt 11:15pm... cham, i haf to do my design project work too... argh!

Well, was tokking to Alex, my ex-marketing head in my anime club while we travelled from school to mrt station. He said my perspectives and etc etc were like him last time. And that I shared my changes in those perspectives when i came to year3 etc, and he understood perfectly so well. The stuff he said were encouraging too... i feel slightly better~~ lol.... thanks for saying that my determination and will power/self-pushing power is strong. Thanks for saying i am a strong woman... lol and thanks for saying i should be able to survive with such mental power. Thanks... But i am worried that I am losing some of it. I am never strong anyway... not that strong at least.

Well every week i am like fighting battles in sch, doing work, stress and all... so end of the week i hoped to meet up with some ppl i comfortable with. Juz be there/ sit there can be really relieving... Dunno if u understand how important such moments to me. It is the only time i can mentally rest abit. Juz simply happier... though once i leave them, things will come back at me again.

well, this weekend need to pia liao... monday submission... will be MIA for the weekends i think.... ja ne!

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Personality test

My Human Resource and Management lessons fall on every Wed... So yesterday I had my HR class, and it's pretty interesting with some personality tests.... On whether u are what type of person, like A or B etc. There are 2 types of tests. First: Locus of control, Second: Type A or B (aka level of stress and gan jiongness)

Locus of control: It is about whether u think that you can control ur life (internal locus of control) or u think u cannot control, and many things are juz left to fate to control (external locus of control). So i did my test and i scored 6-7... That means i am moderate internal locus of control. 8-10 will be high internal locus of control. those from 1-4 is for the external ones.

Type A/B: Personality Test: Ok.... there are 5 grades for this, starting from A+ to B.
A+: 120 pts or more
A: 106-119 pts
A-: 100-105 pts
B+: 90-99 pts
B: less than 90 pts

Well my score is 114, so i am Type A.... lol... actually i toned down alot of things, otherwise I would be A+. The factor that makes me not overshot to the A+ range is the slow at doing things. I am very gan jiong but then i can't do things fast... that's why.... But then actually i think it is a cycle leh. It is becos i do things slow, that's y i always get heart attacks when things keep coming in and i cant finish, thus i feel super rushed and stressed. If i can do things fast, I think i wont be so gan jiong.... anyway, there are other factors affecting the type la, so i cant complain.... but i think this factor affects me most. Teacher said if a person is A+, it is not good. If the person is constantly A+, there'll be problem... lol...

I juz checked this sem's Design schedule. and realised that my Project1 submission is on 12th Sept... and MAF is on 10th.... that means a high chance i may not be able to go MAF... even if i go, i cannot stay long... so SAD!!!! see how la....

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

my shopping?

This morning i supposed to wake up at 6am to see doctor... apparantly due to the lack of a day's sleep and hence sleeping like a dead zombie last night was expected.... so ya, didnt went to see doc in the end. i think maybe i can try on friday morning den.... it is another 'free day'.

Woke up at ard 12 noon and had to pia to sch for project discusson. Abt 4pm, i went orchard to shop for things i need... and ya, it is accumulated list of things... so i ended up buying alot of things. At the end of the day, feeling very broke but then quite satisfied.... yea! i got my new bag and shoes. lol~~~ finally.. hope they will last. the only thing i failed to buy today is a nice smaller sketchbook from art friend to write notes and some doodling. hehe~~ my A4 ones should reserve for drawing and sketching design stuff. yup~~

oh yea, full metal panic season 3 already at episode 6! My jc clinque bought me season 1 for my bdae 2 years back i think. hehe~~ season 3 is a continuation of 1... cool~~ hope i can get inuyasha from 97 onwards... i think yock has? hehe

oh my fren told me abt this webby, very cute:
www.hoopsandyoyo.com
cute animations and witty conversations between the rabbit looking cartoon characters. haha

Last sunday damn bored with my project work that i created a new avatar for myself... hmm i had always wanna try some effects and now i fulfilled it.... some ppl find it scary looking... for me, i treat it as a piece of art, as i am not focusing on who the person is, but the atmosphere, character etc that it gives. yah, so u all shld 'see' along that line and not comment on how scary and how different i look... lol~~

hehheh, skipped my dinner today~ nottie me~ all right, i better catch some sleep or upack my stuff i bought.... ja!

Monday, August 22, 2005

@_@ waahhhh~ mo, yamede!!

ahh~~ actually this weekend i planned out beforehand wat i need to do and accomplish, things like my table, pack room, etc etc and things needed to buy. But all thanks to the research project to be handed up today, my weekend was gone. I didnt sleep last night lor.... almost tear my hair out.... well juz now in studio, my teacher said next monday den need to show for critique, we can keep them aside first. whew lucky.... cos the korean guy in my grp didnt finish his work. that means got some time for him to do.

it's only second week of the sch and i am really pushed by the work... So in the end I did not get to go out and get stuff yesterday, neither did I haf a chance to jog... And I can forget about getting rid of the eye bags that i got them since the recent hols... urge.....

This weekend was quiet too... cos alot of ppl away, and jo had her laptop spoilt... so not much ppl online... haiz~ right, think i will sleep like a pig tonight..... or maybe not...

Anyway last night, a guy who found me through friendster msned me... actually he had been sending emails via friendster for a year liao but not alot, maybe 5-7 emails? he juz interested in architecture bah? that's how he found me. He had been asking to meet me, which of cos everytime i say 'NO', 'no time'. So yesterday thru msn, I finally told him even if i haf time, whether ornot i haf or dun haf bf, I will not meet up with new people like that. I only get to meet new people with reasons, for eg, new committee for anime club, etc etc. yup. I classified it as the natural way. Well, i think that guy got my msg but he's ok with it la, he juz wanna make frens only but too bad I dun make frens like that. Well, he's a graduate from NUS and seems to know architecture side pretty well... hmmm.... and he jokingly said he wanna 'stalk' me in sch... LOL... so funny.... ok la, he dun mean it.

Well, i wonder how come some ppl wanna make frens like that... so weird.... or it is juz me not used to this kenna thing... oh well~heck. I think it is his unfortunate to try make frens with people like me.. haha~ >_-

" People are fluttering away. I wish I can land the fluttering mind on my hands".

Sunday, August 21, 2005

More leaving

hmm, yesterday fri had my anime club's AGM meeting. So quite a number of ppl turned up and our new committee is finally officially announced. Most of us think and agree that marketing head or ppl must somewhat have good look or approachable face, so that negotiations or deals are more easily settled ... u know wat i mean. the 04-05 marketing head is not bad, very charismatic. That's what everyone says. Always haf a smile on his face despite the stress from his year4 work. Yh said that maybe becos he has a goal in his life, such as wanting to hurry graduate and work and marry his gf. So maybe such goal drives him all the way. Now this new 05-06 head oso not bad... but i find him look like the taiwan singer Pan Wei Bo. haha~~

After that 9pm, had to rush to studio to do project discussion with my teammates but we ended up doing nothing much except that i kenna alot of things to do, becos i am the one going to compile their work.... so sad.... i think i cannot finish liao.... unless i work without sleep. It is much of a relief or feel very touched if i haf frens that oso work overnight to accompany me. haha~

Today/sat, i woke up in afternoon.... did abit of the proj and had to go out to meet my ex-Hcco committee members and juniors... we haf a dinner to bid farewell to some of them who haf to go study overseas.... oh man, more ppl leaving.... shengyong, jiaming and yaohao... jiamin already went off liao.... ok, that means total 4 of them.... haiz.....
Nowadays, so many ppl are busy, including me, so much that none of us even chat much on msn.... but i know our friendships or bonds are still as strong as ever....

Juz now suqi and me did some shopping after the dinner. Well, she got the things she wanna buy... but for me is rackey-ing ard.... i need to get a new bag and a pair of shoes. My current bag is too soft and slumpy for me to put my stuff properly in, and it is abit falling apart? hmm not really falling apart lar... haha... as for shoes, cos the aircon in sch is getting too harsh on my feet.... I dun wanna get cold feet.... and it is currently very dry... putting those cream is not going to help much i think... I hope i can finish most of the work until tomolo afternoon so that i can go out in the evening to buy stuff... hehe~ see how ba.

PS: thanks to all who commented on my previous blog, i gave my comments there too~ dun worry, i wont allow myself to repeat the 'tragedy' that happened about this time last year. :)

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Sadness

These days are in the air of sadness.....

In aspects of work, indeed i'm feeling tired from the endless rush.... I was so tired I feel like stopping everything and juz lay at some corner and stone. SO tired that my 'self-torture' feeling starting to appear.... lol

Then yesterday late in the night, me and some JC frens camped over at airport to send some frens off to USA. Ah ba left for US... and we all shared an ipod mini for him. is it mini? 4 Gig one. Though ah ba never said much but from his expression, I could tell tt he muz be damn shocked and touched. Dunno whether he would read this, but I wanna thank him for taking care of us (his family) for 4-5 years... lol~~ i remember that whenever i haf problems or lost on the streets, ah ba would patiently help me out. haha now i think i had to be more independant le... Still, I feel sad when any of my frens has to leave somewhere.... but this time, I didnt let my tears out... maybe too many ppl haf been leaving, such that I dun feel the uncontrollable urge to cry. Maybe becos I believe soon the time will fly by and we will all gather again together. so why be sad? shld be happy for them to be able to fly high for their dreams, unlike me, stuck and chained at where i was.... unable to fly. My wings had already gone; damaged, and had no more will to move.

Hmm now comes the social part in sch... I think maybe becos I had been in USP, hence didnt get to go lessons with archi ppl often since we took different stuff. Also, I tend not to eat proper meals and thus lazy to eat and lazy to go with others to eat.... Becos of all these, maybe that's y i felt I no longer close to many many of archi ppl. The others will haf their own cliques, sometimes I was joined in their conversations etc but I can feel that I cannot relate as close as they are to themselves. I feel out of place most of the time. I keep telling myself that such things cant be help, juz let things go. Yea, thanks to those Buddhist teachings of less attachments = less sufferings, I can let go of more things though a tinge of sadness or certain feelings will still be there. I am trying to get used to being alone. I long realised that I am scared of being alone, becos only with I am with ppl, i can feel happier... when i am alone, i may fall easily into the dark.

Juz try to get my work done well... maybe in that way, i can at least feel settled and secured. .That is the only thing that it cant leave me - work... no matter how much i want to escape from.

如果全世界我也可以放弃
至少还有你值得我去珍惜
而你在这里就是生命的奇迹

也许全世界我也可以忘记
就是不愿意失去你的消息
你掌心的痣我总记得在那里
...

如果全世界我也可以放弃至
少还有你值得我去珍惜
而你在这里就是生命的奇迹

也许全世界我也可以忘记
就是不愿意失去你的消息
你掌心的痣我总记得在那里.

Monday, August 15, 2005

I'm totally embarrassed...

well, last night slept at 4 am cos trying to do this report for that project.... it wasnt hard to do but becos I am dozing here and there, ended up to need 4 hours to do.... kaoz... and yet i had to wake up at 6 plus today as we had a morning site visit at Serangoon Gardens... damn far lor...

Anyway, that explained y i am so darn tired today.... and u know wat, I am totally embarrassed by wat happened this afternoon during studio design time. We were separated into our own little grp to discuss the second project. Our design tutor would walk ard to discuss with us. Meanwhile i keep dozing off until i totally knocked out. When i opened my eyes, the discussion ended and the tutor was right in front talking to us.... OMG!!! My tutor had been watching me sleep throughout the discussion!!!!!!!!!!!!! And my grpmate, graciana, told me that I slept with a cute face.... and smiled and laughed abit. OOOOOMMMGGG!!!! I really so embarrassed!!!!!!!!! Wat do u mean cute!!!! muz be ugly pose or expression? or juz funny? wat u mean cute!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH and worse is my tutor will haf bad impression of me!! cos I didnt take part in discussion and I even sleep during discussion; during his lessons!!! And after I woke up, he asked me why am I keep sleeping!!! I had to tell him i slept at 4 am last night.

OMG!!!! I dunno how to face him liao le!!! tian ar!!!!

Sunday, August 14, 2005

Heavy body and mind...

Well well, finally saturday marked the end of the first week project... friday i did not sleep a wink and had stayed back in sch..... saturday morn was presentation at an LT and i saw that many ppl were sleeping while other grps were up there presenting... lol!

At abt 2 pm, the presentations ended and teachers told us we need to prepared the second project that is coming right up straight from monday onwards... wah kao... no rest lor. After i return home, i took a rest and knowing that I'm going out later with my jc frens, I dun think it is wise to take a nap first.... cos i may never to able to wake up on time. so i watched inuyasha to make me occupied and awake.

Haha in the end was abt 1/2 late.... i met up with them at pastamania, and later ed came. Only me, jo, ed and yk went to watch "Charlie and Choc Factory". The show quite funny and kiddy at some parts. abit scared to eat chocs le... lol...

Later we went to find ah ba in Modestos and there we had some chatting and eating or drinking (for the guys) until soo late at night. Jo went back first while i remained there... After red wine, ah ba called for white wine.... wah, i think they went broke after that... lol, anyway i get to taste abit of the white wine.... yucks, not any nicer..... lol think drinking is definitely out for me...

we tokked alot while for one period of time i was so tired and dozed off at my chair. den woke up again to chat abit. We get to share some health tips.... actually i am the one who learnt some from ed and ah ba. Me and ah ba shared our 'fainting' experiences and they really scared me alot by wat they said.... They say I'm really in dangerous condition.... with my low blood pressure and the overstressing of my mind and body... i can get into coma according to my past experiences.... ok, i think i am going to heed their advices to get some health tablets... esp those for Iron etc..... eeek~~ Abt 1 plus, we decided to go back. Ah ba was feeling the effects from wine already.... and yet he offered to sent me home up to my doorsteps. Thanks ah ba!! Now, this is wat i call the acts of a father. lol! ^^

This morning woke up at 2 plus in the afternoon... lol~~ tired sia... i feel my head abit heavy still (of cos not becos of the few sips of wine) So in the end i didnt went out with them for today's fireworks. Also i know i still haf the last bits of the project's report to do. haiz.... sad.... start of new project....... haiz......

Friday, August 12, 2005

T_T

ok, shldnt be blogging even for a bit here.... supposed to stay over in studio now but still ended up at home doing the project thingy.... cadding that is.

btw, got to know something interesting from my USP module "Foundations of Engineering". I dunno y the teacher is talking abt creativity though this module is erm... abt engineering... anyway, he told us something interesting abt it: There's this student in some overseas uni sch, cant remember who took part in an essay writing competition. Participants were supposed to write abt RELIGION, ROYALTY, SEX and MYSTERY in concise watever statements etc. So this student who won the competition wrote this as his winning piece:

"Oh God," said the Queen. "I'm pregnant. But I wonder who did it."

----- cool huh, all 4 issues are tackled in such simple line..... this is creative...??

ok back to work....
Ps: not sure if i can come for the fireworks on sunday, muz see how first.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

2nd Day of sch after hols...

ok, today is considered the 2nd day of sch... My grp supposed to meet at 8am at our studio but when I reached there at 8:40, no one is there yet.... haiz.... we had new tables but they are so lousy...... even the little cupboard thingy at the bottom dun haf doors.... so there's no way u can put important stuff anywhere.... but i think i can bring my cup, lamp, some little notepad clip toys to put on the table top.... lol

At abt 1pm, all of us had to traven to Biz fac for our Human Resource module... this is my first time going elsewhere far for lessons, cos normally since as I dun take those Breadth, Gems etc, I dun need to travel out to diff facs. I tot i would miss lunch but managed to get some bread to munch. The 3 hours lessons were driving me to sleep... for the 20min break, I slept all the way through, even had dreams. so jialat sia. After returning to studio, design discussion and thinking start again.... until late into the night with biscuits as my dinner!! yea, BISCUIT QUEEN is back.

Finally it is 12:05 am when I stepped into my house via taxi.... wah kaoz.... and yes, tml i will haf to stayover in sch. And i think everyone will be staying over tomolo night! OMG! cos Friday is the submission day, and sat is the presentation + exhibition day.... mad rush~

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

National Day~~

haha a pub hols that is no different from any other working day except that i can go out with my JC class. JC class outings are among the top priorities in my list of events, so i wont miss them unless I haf very impt stuff cropped up. Afternoon spent time at the botanical gardens with my studio team to discuss about our design etc. After that was getting myself squashed in mrt to reach city hall. Horrified by the crowd... so much ppl~

Me, yock, ed, sel, yk and ah ba finally had our dinner at swensons... lol.... me and yock had soup and icecream. but ah ba and yk not only haf a main course but 2 rounds of ice-cream each!! They crazy!!! so envious.... can eat so much yet so skinny. We talked alot while eating our deserts before we walked for quite a distance, trying to go to a pub to sit down and chill. First went to esplanade's.... dun like, so went to fullerton and found out that it was closed for the day... so we ended up at the riverbank there to sit and chat.

The whole night yock been bugging ah ba for the answer that he owed yock since yock won the bet.... i can understand yock's curiosity and by right, she has the right to know the answer but den ah ba doesnt seem willing to tell. He muz haf his own ku3 zhong1 so... haiz~
Actually I was feeling down cos I had to GO BACK SCH to do somemore discussion for the proj... so sian... but later at 10pm I saw the sms that they cancelled it. Haha den become super happy... lol~ i'm so bad....
At 11, we started to get going. All of us except ah ba and ed went back home via mrt. the two of them going to starbucks to meet up with their other frens. How I wish i can stay out longer and tok through the night.... and that there's no work tml... but i know these are impossible... :(

Ps: yup, in the end we didnt get to see the fireworks.... lol

Monday, August 08, 2005

What a first day of school....

Well well.... normally i would like to haf a slow-mo and relaxed atmosphere for first day of sch.... haha this time it is all cock up. I set my hp alarms at 7:20 and 7:30 am. But u know, I'll always turn it off and went back to sleep. So to counter such scenarios, I also put a note on the fridge which told mum to wake me up at 7:25.

I woke up as the drilling noise at the corridor was becoming unbearable. There's some renovation going on at our corridors for 1 mth... So when i opened my eyes, the sky was bright. Suddenly I juz jumped up on my bed and looked at the clock. Darn! 9:05!! I had to be at the lecture hall at 9:30 though the guest lect will start at 10. OMG~ can u imagine that.... Then mum was like "huh, u mean today is your first day of school? " *slap forehead* I pia like crazy and had to skip my breakfast.... So at 9:25 I was already on the way to the bus stop. Cool~ I didnt know i can wash up, dress up, pack up and watever within less than 1/2 hour. Think I broke my record. Erm no need think, it is a definite. So when I reached sch, not too bad :) *grin* whew~

Den after the guest lect I had to run to Old Admin Block to haf my usp lesson from 12 to 2pm. AHhh~ no lunch too~. After that, I rushed down to Botanical gardens by bus with a big group of archi ppl~ And we walked quite a distance in and reached the Burkill Hall. Haha, do i feel like fainting? so hot, tired and hungry... I dun feel that hungry la, i'm well trained after 2 years! haha~~ so after the site visit, some site selection process, discussions etc, it was 5:45pm and we called it a day.... haiz.....

first day of sch jiu4 zhe4 yang4 le~ cant be help~ hmm tml hols also haf grp discussion and visiting the bot gardens again. well at least I shld be able to turn up for my JC class dinner outing :)

Sunday, August 07, 2005

1. Yea finally photos of me and the CKOA firm ppl. Farewell Dinner at a Jap restaurant across the office building. Left side: me, Ying, Marifi, Alfred, Chaifong. Right side, starting from left: Tan, Jacky, Irene, Sally (face covered),Bean, Art.

2. Haha me and chaifong, trying some funny acts? She is bubbly cute and likes to tease abit on ppl~~ haha

3. Me and Marifi~ She's from Philipiness and she bubbly, cute and hip!! Lol! Really enjoy talking to her~ Cheers!

4. Me and Alfred. Alfred has really good voice in singing. Especially sounds like Zhang Zheng Yue. cool~ Hey, we got the small eyes and smile? He always jio us for lunch, very nice person too.

5. Me and Art. Art is from thai and Art is his nickname. His classmate Bean (also nickname) works here too, will see her in next photo.

6. Haha the front two ladies are Jacky (left), Bean (Right). Bean is the thai chiobu I mentioned to some of u. But I think she gained some weight after she returned from a thai trip and she had some haircut which the hairdresser did a bad job at her fringe. But still, she's the natural beauty!!

7. Tan and me. He looked so sian so I had to make a sian face too~ eyes half close.. and a smirky smile.

8. haha, the three gals posing with food~ From left: Ying, Chaifong, me~

Saturday, August 06, 2005

Busy Friday

ok, I took up that poster design thingy and it costs my whole friday..... I asked for it right, i knew some of u would say that.... ppl like lam and chris always use that sentence to scold me and I would be speechless.... lol

The only relaxing thing is jogging today. I asked some JC frens who live near me + Mr. Ed-lazy-to-jog-alone to jog this evening... ah ba never reply.... he's been MIA these days... busy preparing for overseas ar? den sel responded and wanted to come, but he had some event after that, which caused him to change his mind abt coming to jog. Ok, so me and ed jogged at Clementi Stadium... haiz, damn stressed to jog beside a super fast person... but then again Ed slowed down all the way for me.... haiz... so sorry manz....

yea, at least I did 10 rounds as I promised myself to do so....though we had a pretty long rest after the 6 continous rounds before running 4 continuous rounds. Ed did 12 rounds. 10 slow ones with me, and 2 fast ones.... aiyo.... and later he had to rush for a meeting in Ang Mo Kio... wah, i feel paiseh to haf asked him to jog and made him late for his meeting....

Anyway back to designing poster after that and now finally finished a draft one... tomolo they will discuss and will ask me to make final changes... a 1 day poster, so rush, of cos not a great piece of work.

So many things haven do... need to get new table, portfolio etc etc etc!!!!! ahhhhhhhh, and the worst thing happened to me today is to find out that my USP module clashed with my Archi History Tutorials!!! wat!! everything clash, not much others for me to take, the rest oso clash. Cham la! who can save me!!???

ps: ok think i will post the photos later... now tired.

Friday, August 05, 2005

Farewell Dinner

(PS:hey mei, i replied ur comments to the previous blog~)

Hmm this morning mum woke me darn early.... lol cos she didnt know wed (yesterday) was my last day of work... is she blur, forgetful or I didnt tell her properly. So I had to mumbled to tell her i do not haf to work today and she tot it is juz another sleep talking and thus wont believe me, until my sis was awakened by the noise and told her wat i am saying is true.

Woke up ard 9 plus to set up my PC and laptop.... but of cos not complete still... In the afternoon met up some fren to get some stuff b4 loitering ard in city hall area... i walked thru city link, into suntec.... the whole process was so slow..... feel so bored and sian.... everyone ard me walking by rushing by talking by. everything was so vacant... so light.... time was so insignificant then.... I doesnt know wat to look for, wat to see, wat to find... no destination....

In citylink, near the end, got this Jap shop named KoKon Tonzai beside the expensive paper shop. Ying told me abt the shop where she bought a mini bag for her fren. So I went in to look ard... pretty cool... so are the prices.... Their stuff are very nice, nice fabric... They oso haf very nice keychains~~ on top engraved with chinese character each. Got "Joy", "Dream", "Love", etc etc..... ranging from 14.90 to 18 ++ bucks... pretty expensive for a keychain but they look exquisite. very nice... can consider giving them as little gifts for frens.

Went in suntec to look at tables in Courts... Sadly none is close to wat i want.... seems i haf to go get ikea one.... oh but i spotted a nice dining set with very cool dining chairs!! Love it! And looking at the price tag, it said 1,299 or is it 1499, cant remember but wooo~~ not too bad? dunno. but comparing to the others, this is one of the more exp ones.

Walking back to city link/ city hall mrt.. loitered in MPH before going to Tanjong Pagar to meet up with Ying and together went to meet the office ppl and had Jap dinner in a Jap resturant on the other side of the road. So sinful, we are like monsters... ate up so much food.... they juz keep coming in lor, as if they cost nothing.... tasted very nice delicacies~~ hehe and took photographs, will post them up another time.

I realised that i always hear ppl wrongly... many many times, even the thai guy said that. The thai lady said she wan green tea ice-cream. Her articulation of english words of cos not accurate but well.... anyway, i tot she said "twenty" ice-cream. green tea= twenty. hmm, actually sounds abit the close rite? well.... is there some cells in my brain that are damaged? why am i unable to catch wat ppl saying many times? esp hear wrongly.... i think i need to scan my brain lol.....

Die, ate so much, so i am determined to go jogging tml! No matter I am alone or managed to pull some ppl to jog, I HAf to jog. I MUZ jog!!!!
ok, i better go and do up a poster for a fren, deadline tml morn.... die... cya all~

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Yea! Last day of work!

yup today my last day in office.... however i dun feel super happy which I tot I should and would be. y? i think i somehow know y... and maybe also becos the stress from sch work is coming into me. but i bet Jo sure damn happy abt her end of internship at China~~ yea!!!

Hmm... nothing much happened today... juz that i get to realise some things... I kind of understand y Jo likes or rather, prefers to keep quiet and isolate herself when everyone and many ppl keep talking ard her. Some situation happened to me during lunch break.... While walking to our destination, Ying was chatting with the other only female staff while for some reasons which not very sure, I am tired and lazy to tok, so i let them tok and I walked way in front with the guys who were tokking among themselves too. While eating, everyone else tokking but i continued to eat quietly. Any talking for me = slow at finishing food anyway. I really kept my mouth shut and looking away.... the other self was controlling me.... or i had become the other self at that time.... lol. Usually I would like to tok or entertain ppl, but then this time i juz dun wanna chap into any conversations... maybe their conversations were so smooth and so heated and happy, no need me inside anyway, rather rest. That was my tot at tht time.

The staff ppl decided that we shall all haf a dinner tml so as to bid us farewell. That is their tradition/culture thingy whenever any intern students left after the internship. So nice~ But really dun feel like stepping into Tanjong Pagar again...

Skipped my dinner for the 2nd time this week but I ate the famous kuehs from Amoi Food Centre at 2nd floor. Nice~~~ muz make all of u go there eat. heehee

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ok, those who doesnt hear me blabbering abt ppl, skip this part:

Haiz.... so disappointed with some ppl.... i know different ppl got different opinions, so i always tolerate with understanding and oso being tactful and not to hurt others in some ways. However i juz cant believe some ppl can be so direct and mean/ tactless.... especially when the person they dealing with is me.... maybe i am more senstive to such things? I dunno, but i think i am not the only one. I can forgive u for being so vain; I can forgive u for being so boastful about urself; I can forgive u for being so witty; and I tried to forgive u even when u are so mean and tactless, whether u done it intentionally or unintentionally; and i tried to forgive u even when u are so offending me. I did try to look beyond those. And then when I heard that u actually tokked things behind my back, commenting on my opinions etc etc to our common fren who is rather close to both of us, wat does that mean? You make urself sound as if u are so faultless, so superior, so right, and i am the one so frustrating. With that thought, u disgusts me. I am rather disappointed with you. U could haf told me straight on my face but nicely. I will accept if i know i am wrong. But if i am not, at least i can clear it up. You are always the one coming up with wacky ideas, doing very fun stuff, daring to try things, you enjoy gossiping and all. I dun usually choose much as to who can be my frens, I juz be with anyone who comes into my life, and comfortable enuff to chat with. But this time, I really think we are very different. I know you are juz urself, I respected tht, juz that u are really not the type i can tok alot with anymore. I tot u can be one of the close frens but i think now..... a pity. friends still of cos. Ur wittiness is too scary to me. And I cant keep up with ur that kind of fun and mentality. And many things u said hurt me , but i know after some time i will soon lose/forget most of these feelings. you know that i am not one who remembers things well and that i cant put hatred long in me. Too tiring and i dun like to hate ppl. With the things fresh at this time, shall put it down first....
Anway, if i am at wrong, i wanna know y, otherwise I hate to be tokked behind my back and ruin my reputation and personality. I want justice simply.
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whew ok, shant say anymore.

hmm saw this 9pm tv drama serial on channel 8.... den this gal Cen Fei kenna bullied or abused by this rich husband who likes to use violence and he often gets jealous and is a very very self-centred person. The thing is at first during courtship or dating, he was so darn nice lor.... Wah, that's y i say husbands show true colours after marriage.... and violence is something i hate alot alot and i hate quarrels.... guys are scary~ lol

today i realised that i usually walk at the back of the grp of ppl I am with at any time... sometimes are becos i prefer to be led and I will feel secured. Sometimes are becos ppl juz always get in front of me. This reflects alot of things... First, it proves that I am obviously a youngest member in the family.... who always get to follow and not play a role of leader, unless when really needed. It oso proves that i am not very independent..... still need ppl ard me to give all kinds of support... be it mental or moral etc. Another thing is, maybe i am not the type who wanna/can "fight with the world", in chinese u call it Yu3 Shi4 Wu2 Zheng1 type, as long as I am satisfied and did my best in my own field. Maybe i am not cut out to be able to challenge with very competitive and witty ppl.... y am i so harmless?urgh.... lol.

okok, i think too much le.... thus wrote too much. ok, sign off here... gd nitex ppl~ thanks for reading until here.

Last days of work~

(PS: Jovie!! Once u return of cos will pull u out!! MUZ visit me~~ hoho, and the rest of us of cos~ Hope we can haf outings still~~. Ed, hehe hey at least i promised u that i dun say out whatever i heard and seen, in the blog leh~)

wah, after that nice weekend of mahjong, now muz be serious in work le.... though the mood haven start yet. Been busy these days becos I collected my new PC on sunday and thus been trying to set it up.

Monday, me and Ying took half day off to go sch for our Design Studio Briefing... wah kao.... alot of things to do from 8th Aug to 13th Aug. Bye bye to NDP celebration. I think though it is pub hols, most prob all the archi students will be visiting our design site at Botanical Gardens to do our project lor.... and even the teacher told us to start collecting library books for research immediately... huh, i think now all the books grabbed by ppl liao lor. see, teachers encouraged us to be super kiasu even when most of us are kiasu already.... wat is this.....

After briefing, I went to comp centre, reformat my laptop and configured it. Ok, so now i haf to set up both my PC and laptop, damn busy la~~~ headache headache....

Today/Tues is the 2nd last day of work.... Ying made a sms dedication to class 95 for the company. Vernetta(?) Lopaz really read her sms out! but sadly only both of us heard it, the rest were so far away from the radio. Ying wanted to go KTV badly, and hab been asking ard since last last week. so after the whole afternoon of asking and confirming, we went to Chinatown's Kbox.... Actually i got so much work to do and dun feel like going, but seeing her dying to sing, i dun wish to pour wet blanket.... Anyway I got to try some new songs by FIR and SHE, not bad... but for Yuan Dian by Stef and Tanya, Ying commented that the song is ruined. ok, muz be becos of me la..... i never learnt to sing that song but i think only certain overlapping duet parts i dun understand only mah... If i haf known we are confirmed ktving today, i can at least practice abit and not blur blur sing or leave blank.

Now I finally know why i getting not interested in KTV. Becos i dun always keep up to date on new songs.... and lazy to find lyrics..... so most of the time I am familiar with older songs, and even if other ppl wont get sian, i myself feel sian to sing them again.

Hmm i realised some ppl like to argue out my opinions and decisions so as to go according to their plans and benefits, when they deemed those decisions as excuses.... I hate that. Everything i say they oso wanna debate with me. Can some ppl juz respect my words? and take it as it is? and juz accept me? They wanna make me speechless so that i seem to haf no choice but to agree and go along with their plans or ideas. i dun wish to dislike them becos of this.... and i know some other times they are nice ppl too... urgh, y do i haf to meet up with such ppl to make me feel complex/complicated.

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